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Beau Smith

by beau Smith

Clark Kent = Superman.

Peter Parker = Spider-Man

Bruce Wayne = Batman

Clint Barton = Hawkeye

Secret identities, a lot of all superheroes have them, or used to. having a secret identity was paramount to a hero’s crime battling career. A hero had to have one to not only secure their family and friends, but to also give themselves a break so they could go to the supermarket or keep a day job to pay the bills. Protecting that secret identity also gave the comic book writer a constant storyline and a point of conflict to keep the reader’s interest. For decades it was all Superman could do to keep Lois Lane off his cape as she would get borderline psychotic trying to figure out who Superman really was.

You don’t see or hear much of the secret identity anymore. a lot of heroes don’t seem to have the time to be “themselves” these days. There are too lots of galactic menaces swooping down on the Earth, too lots of supernatural demons that are turning everyone into zombies, and let us not forget all the universal problems that keep a majority of the heroes in space.

It’s no wonder Hal Jordan doesn’t have time to be a test pilot these days.

Peter Parker From new Avengers #51

A lot of superheroes have gone as far as to reveal their secret identity to the whole world or have just chucked the horned rims altogether for frequent flying time of being a superhero full time. The world is a busier place these days. who has time to play the part of a billionaire playboy or a newspaper photographer? just think what these people are saving by not paying taxes anymore. Can’t say I blame them much.

The wonderful four were trendsetters back in the day when they made a decision not to hide who they were and build their own high tech gated community. Superman gave them the idea with his Fortress Of Solitude, and let’s not forget Batman’s Batcave. the best Peter Parker could hope for back in the 1960’s was the extra closet in the apartment or condo that he shared with Harry Osborne.

Things change.

Steve Rogers

I’m not saying everyone has to have a secret identity. Lord knows if I were a superhero, I’d be thinking of some way to uncomplicate my busy life as well. Steve Rogers figured that he might as well work for Uncle Sam full time and let Bucky have the worries of wearing a mask for a while. If Batman wasn’t so bad about sharing, I’m sure he would’ve discarded the cowl on Dick Grayson years ago. then again, Dick has always been the smart one and struck out on his own before the torch could get shoved on him. Why do you think Batman has had so lots of Robin sidekicks? nobody really wants the job.

I also think that writers and publishers don’t want to deceive with a secret identity and all the work that comes with it. part of me is sorry about that because as we all know, the supporting, non-super powered cast has always been a substantial draw in the stories. having non-powered cast members interacting with incredibly powered beings makes for a lot a lot more interest and compelling storylines than constant incredibly being to incredibly being jibber-jabber. admit it, we’re all drawn to the soap opera aspect of comics and always have been. Soap floats the boat.

Sometimes story devices run their course. We must all be open minded on what moves a story and what’s a dead horse.

I know that if I were a villain, my main goal would be to get what I want and make sure no one caught me. I never got the “seek the hero out for revenge” thing. That’s asking for trouble and nuisance to come into your life. When you’re committing a crime the goal is to not get caught. If anybody must be promoting the secret identity it’s the bad guy.

Superman in a phone booth

So next time you open your Westfield Comics box and start reading your comics, take some time to see who is still trying to find a phone booth to change into their costume and who isn’t. There are still phone booths aren’t there?

Merry Christmas

I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas and an very healthy new Year! thank you for reading Beauology 101. I love having you in my class. (Pretty girls sit in the front row.)

Your amigo,

Beau Smith (When I’m not being someone else.)

The flying Fist Ranch

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